News of the Near Future (Frogstar News Service)
Rome: Newly elected Pope John-Paul-George surprises Catholics on his first day as Pontif with proclamations allowing ordination of women, marriage for priests, and describing use of condoms as "in many cases a very good idea". The Pope tells the throngs in St. Peter's Square "And if you think that's something, just wait til I get warmed up."
Washington D.C.: President George W. Bush signed a flag for an admirer this morning.
Shocked Secret Service men quickly arrested Bush.
Bush is expected to serve
30 days in jail for this Federal crime. Impeachment proceedings begin tomorrow with wide bipartisan support.
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