North America's oldest dinosaur is completely rewriting history

This week in internet bad clickbait "science" headlines:
"North America's oldest dinosaur is completely rewriting history"


[Scene]
A grizzled Saurischian is hunched over a manual typewriter on an old wooden desk with stacks of paper. An unlit cigar is in the Dino's mouth.

The old Dino reads aloud as it types.
"The Titanic actually sank in 603 BC because it hit a rubber duck. Julius Caesar and Genghis Khan were a popular Parisian ballet dance duo."

Enter a younger Saurischian, who says: "Grandpa, it's past your bedtime and you haven't taken your meds again."

Old Dino replies: "Not now, Sonny! I'm busy COMPLETELY REWRITING HISTORY!"

[End scene]